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Who was it who said 

By Lisa Solomon

who was it who said that we are made of stardust was it ziggy or was it that old cuckold who used to live down the road the one who used to talk incessantly about how the world is in its final throes of existence something about the stars alighning or was it revelations i can’t remember 

i remember who didn’t say it that shrink who was obsessed with fungus he was a fungi tell me about it hahaha yeah the way he kept talking about my anger and violence when i told him that i am going to change the world doesnt he know who i am i am gandhi nonviolent resistence besides real change in society doesn’t come from the top down its bottom up not that i am a marxist you have been to uni yeah and who made me go back to graduate charles charles charles understood the credibility that comes with having letters after your name what ba yeah ba charles i miss him 

you do know why the fungi shrink was saying that to you though no i don’t why he was attacking your credibility he doesn’t know your’e gandhi he sees you as a raskalnikoff dostoyevskian anti hero he thinks you will destruct before you create destructive i’m more self destructive shut up listen i don’t want to hurt but i don’t want others to hurt either shut up listen shut up they presume all these things so they can put it in your file and when you do do something they can get out their file and say i told you so all the signs were there i told you so so they can say i have no credibility yeah a way to keep tabs on us 

the cops are driving past again are they really driving past again yeah there they go again for the second time today its just because the junkies live across the road is it what else would it be tracking the gps on my phone i don’t always carry my phone on me when i go out can they see movement behind the curtain dont move breathe breathe breathe they’re gone i need a drink do you shut up 

sit down here’s a cigarette think think what do i normally do when i feel like this drink yeah besides that think write too jumpy think do distraction book read can’t concentrate think go outside and do some gardening i’m not going out there housework then bugger that think lets just shut the blinds and crawl back into bed i can’t deal with this today it’ll still be there tomorrow i know but tomorrow tomorrow 

 

liii

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