The Dark Road Ahead

I strolled slowly along, my eyes and feet avoiding the pitfalls in the uneven footpath. The road ahead taking me home looked desolate and far away. The dark clouds above matched my mood of  loneliness and despair. Not a glimmer of light shone through, the sun completely obliterated by the menacing clouds. Would I make it home before it rained? I didn’t know and cared even less.

I had taken the walk because the experts advice was that exercise was uplifting and helped depression.

It had failed to work for me as I dragged my legs towards home, with not a glimmer of light seeping into my brain. A few drops of rain began to fall as I stepped up my driveway and inserted my key in the front door lock.

Once inside I collapsed into the nearest chair completely worn out physically and mentally.

My thoughts were racing. What was the next best thing to do? Of course coffee was the answer. I headed for the kitchen to boil the kettle. The coffee was barely made when the phone rang. It was my dear sister wanting to know how I was. I lied I said  I was fine as she was not good at coping when I was unwell. It was easier that way and it made her happy to know I was okay. She rambled on about her day and I was content to listen as it was a pleasing distraction. Eventually we ran out of conversation and I hung up the phone.

I was alone again with my dark  thoughts. What next? I had finished my coffee so I headed for my much loved computer.  It always delivered emails from friends which were a joy to read. There was also the myriad of book companies who sent me numerous titles of all kinds of books and also new arrivals. Most of the time I could not resist buying a book or two. Unfortunately the number of books I had accumulated that were still unread was growing. I had always been a prolific reader. Reading a whole book in a day was not uncommon for me. It was a little sad that in my old age my concentration levels had diminished. I took me s good deal longer to finish a book these days. Ah the joys of age.

I found a pleasing email from my friend Kay informing me her much awaited bookshelves had arrived. Now ahead of her was the enjoyable task of  sorting out her stacks of books. I was pleased for her as anything to do with books always enthralled me.

Kay and I go back to 1980, when we both joined Weightwatchers to try and curb our ever increasing waistlines. We have stayed friends as have our waistlines, ever a source of concern.

Time for lunch. What an unwelcome chore. What did I want and more importantly what did I have the energy to make.? A sandwich was the easiest and quickest.

The afternoon dragged with nothing but the television as my companion.

Teatime and then my beautiful  bed and blissful sleep.

Maybe tomorrow would be a better day.