Searching

By Vivana Luzochimana

Hey.

 

Hey what’s up?

 

Im feeling super alone, I’m feeling a deep sense of loneliness where I am

 

What do you need?

 

to sit, to sleep, to cry.

I want to hug, to breathe

And most importantly I need to be with someone other than myself right now

 

Why? What’s going on?

 

See.

there are moments I scare myself

I seem to always take myself back to my most vulnerable moment

and even though I‘ve moved from that point in time, literally, there are still moments of doubt

moments of deep sadness that flow through my veins like barbed wire snare

…I can’t breathe where I am

At least, not on my own very well

Some nights I wake up in cold sweats

with dreams so vivid

I feel like I lose myself in the past

And if I don’t relive these moments

I’m afraid that the few memories I have will last and they’ll consume me

I’m afraid and I need company

To sit. To sleep. To hug. To smile.

 

Hey. I’ll come get you. I love you and I’m coming to keep you safe.

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