mother’s eyes

Can people see sadness when they look me in the eyes, do they see through my smile.
All I long for now is going to bed when I check the time, and I know I must get up soon and the sun will start creeping under the curtain’s sadness comes back.
Sometimes I just long to not wake stay resting forever, if only I could see my kids grow and not be here.
I still can’t believe I gave up happiness and freedom to feel like this.
I don’t even feel like a woman anymore the things I once enjoyed are all gone.
The thought of someone touching me makes me feel sick.
I just want to feel like me again.
I hope my children will remember my happy smile and not the sadness in my eyes.