Impost

this morning all day back into night
she plans the hours
during
this economic struggle

as her bar radiator
warms the room

for writing
that graces what she reads
to survive

before sleep
under
government blankets

uses prescription medication

to alleviate
anxiety induced mood disorder

on recycle.

to win each winter’s day
she must be strategic.

faked profiles

it’s not personal
the rejection

more a polite
refusal

while others

roam freely
about the cabin.

post institutionalisation
you re-read the picture

seek the evidence
from quality control
that recorded

your unacceptability

before critiqued as a failed
portrayal

of whom it was
you were bluntly expected to be

for the former …

now the violinist

plays herself
into a frenzy

for those
unable to know

beyond her love
of this instrument

and the hours spent
in devoted practice

assisting her escape
from the moments she fears

will again render her
pedestrian

return her, to the once

and lesser,
aspirational self

safely now
lost to a movement

signs remain

the doctor says
it’s okay to pretend.

there is precedence.

great gospel musicians
black and/or women
or both

corroborated
by radio airplay
and record sales.

so i make it up
as i go along

cautious and still aware
steel makes crunching noises

when cars collide