ALL WRITING

I Think My Phone Has Fucked Me Up

By Ellis Dolan

Hundreds of people more intelligent than I said
I think my phone has fucked me up
Made me a mess and weak
But I must keep it close by
In case it rings and beeps
All the good in the world in a box
Drowning in all the bad
I think my phone has fucked me up

In my lifetime, I’ve witnessed
The growth and persistence
From ‘only in case of emergency’ business
The Nokia 8210 in blue
Remember when ‘Snake 2’ was the best you could do?
Now every year, the new model releases
The hype and the need and the price all increases
And your battery’s storage coincidentally decreases
And they don’t even hide they’ve designed it that way
What are you gonna do, just walk away?

And it doesn’t make sense to me
That it’s both privilege and necessity
I don’t want to see another politician telling me
The poor live in excess if they have anything better than an iPhone3
That it’s our fault our pockets are forlorn
While they phase out cash
Create government apps that break down and collapse
If we don’t wait in line at the Apple Store
Because the old version won’t work anymore

Then there’s the rich with their scorning
We should just heed their warning
Just another thing I read on Twitter this morning
While they have a phone for business, a phone for home
A phone for the mistress (That’s a burner phone)

Luminescent, Incandescent
Notifications acting like an antidepressant
Just for a second
And then it’s gone, But the hunger stays
Pleading and desperate for someone to say
Hey, Where are you?

I feel connected and distant
But offer little resistance
Because when I’m on the road, that’s one thing that’s consistent
And a thousand people smarter than me recognised in an instant
But I think my phone fucked me up

This insatiable need to be reached at any moment
With no excuse for missed calls, or justified postponement
And I’m guilty too of this faux pas of procedure
My anxiety rising as I scream into the receiver
“Why won’t you pick up?”
And a million people smarter than me realised long ago

I think my phone fucked me up