Let it all burn, on your terms.
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Some one asked a question on a forum, “how to became a sociopath” an I enlightened them with this answer.
You don’t want that.
But since you’re asking I’ll humour you.
First you should get bullied. You should have your parents hate you, despise you. Violate you and betray you.
You should spend your pre teen years feeling alone, misunderstood, hated and profiled by people who look down on you.
You should be told you’re nothing. That you’re trash and worthless, left alone, isolated, ignored during school studies and felt like nobody wants to be your friend or even spend time with you during studies.
You should feel like the teachers won’t help you, how parents don’t care. How absolutely the whole world just wants you to die. To suffer and waste away. Daddy won’t help you. Mummy doesn’t care. Your favorite teacher you thought was your friend suddenly betrayed you too. And the teacher who replaces her because she had to go get chemo theraphy, laughed at you, breaking down in class when asked to teamwork with others as they laughed at you…. As they had done for so many years you couldn’t even remember when you felt safe.
And then when you’re at your lowest, your weakest, saddest, you’ll either break, or you’ll give into a side of yourself that might reside within you, and embrace anger. Hatred, and defend yourself at whatever cost because people are trash, nobody cares for you, it’s just you l, and what you do to take back they which they stole from you.
These worthless, selfish, unfair pieces of shit who betray you left and right, refuse to help you or even look at you in any other way than disgust.
Repay them with that very gaze. And make them suffer as you have suffered. Because you’re no longer a victim. You won’t allow it.
Take… use… and enjoy doing whatever the hell you want because if this is how it is… then so be it.
Let it all burn, on your terms.
And only your terms…
And there you go. When you’ve been all the way down in ways I didn’t even mention because of how many ways there are, if you manage to survive this, you might be damaged enough to certifiably not give a rat fuck anymore and all you’re doing is to fit in, put on a smile, wear the mask of a gentleman daily meanwhilst being so out of touch, so not there, you will never be able to tell a soul because they will abandon you out of fear.
And that is your life. Which you either revel in and enjoy greatly. Nuanced, hateful, sadistic, merciless and vengeful, whilst perfectly able to imitate emotion and empathy, living a normal life, smiling and loving… in the way you control. Or you hate who you are and find yourself lost, angry, all depending on how weak or strong you are.
Ultimate you will seek the way you never… get hurt again. And if that does a happen anyway, all bets are off. For better or worse all depending on who you truly wish to be.
But this is a delusion you will never truly ditch, because you will imitate humanity so well that normal people will find you creepy, weird, too emotional and the ultimate irony of this will just be the last nail in the coffin as you both move forward and seethe at the thought of everyone around you being fake to boot.
And you see them…. You see all of them for who they really are.
And there you go. I hope this gives you some useful insight. And firmly deters you from any misunderstandings you might have.
I lost my kids one to SIDS and then my son due to the hurt and anger of what the world dealt me.
My mind battles my heart everyday
You don’t want to feel like me.
Remember you have a choice, I gave up on mine.